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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in oliver_j_taco's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
4:49 pm
I heard it through the grape vine
Hello, fellow felines, humans, and puppies!

I heard the strangest thing this morning, and I can't fathom it. So maybe someone could clear things up for me. I heard that a plant was elected to run the human country. Excuse me, but I thought plants were something I munched on to piss Queenie off. They don't cry when I do it, and it makes for great pukage later. So how can a plant run a human country?


I'm confused about this, and no one seems to be talking about it in my domain. They're all watching Fluffy, whom I think is trying to lay eggs. MMMMMMM, turtle eggs. And plants ruling the humans. I mean seriously, I'm sure I'd do a better job.
Monday, August 30th, 2004
4:26 pm
Finally, someone turned off that stupid fan
I've been ostrasized from my bed for the last month and a half. Fuzzball has seized that opportunity to make herself as comfortable as possible there too.

The cause of this whole thing was a box fan. It was blowing air into the bedroom, causing everything to flutter about, and that really REALLY bothers me.

Well, this morning, I took my bed back. The wind wasn't blowing on the bed, so I went back there, and defended it against fuzzbutts. And I burrowed my head under the big soft blanket, and I ENJOYED my sleep.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
11:05 am
Wow....
It's quiet today. I'm not sure where Phoebe went, but it's blissful!

Queenie and I were just sitting on the bed, enjoying Beethoven. Now, I'm not a huge violin fan, but this was exquisite enough to make me purr.

Okay, now, tis time to eat food. Tata!


P.S. I haven't received msg emails... so sometime, I'll peek up on my journal page.

Current Mood: content
Saturday, June 26th, 2004
3:21 pm
whew!
There was a white thing in our house. It seemed hurt, otherwise, I would have had to muster up courage to fight it. Fuzzball was taken in by the white thing. Apparently, they've encountered each other before. I must admit that the creature was sure sneaky. I could smell it, but couldn't see it, for IT was being rather quiet. Then, she started drinking water in the most BARBARIC fashion. That's when I noticed it.

Smaller than me, but obviously very viscious! I ran and hid inside the house, and hissed at Queenie once for smelling like IT. However, it seems to be gone, and so I'm typing this on top of the bed, happy that I did not get eaten by the white ball of fur that wasn't a cat.

I'm still nervous though. I will sleep with one eye open!

Current Mood: somewhat scared
Friday, June 25th, 2004
2:09 am
Sigh
Dear Queenie,

Let's sleep in. You and me. The bird and fuzz butt can leave in the morning. We can have the bed all to ourselves.

Your one and only Oliver
Friday, June 11th, 2004
3:14 pm
Excuse me while I point out a couple of things.
First of all, it's not YOUR bed at all. It's not YOURS either. The bed belongs solely to ME, and you're lucky you get to use it at all.

Second of all, I can groom my "BUTT" (as you call it) on MY bed anytime I please.

Any questions?

Current Mood: I told you so, that's why!
Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
7:30 pm
Yummy!
Queenie's right foot sure tastes good. I decided to feast on it for a good ten minutes. Ten minutes of unadulterated licking.

She looked at me funny, but I couldn't help it.

I have no interest in her left foot.

Current Mood: satisfied
Monday, April 12th, 2004
5:28 pm
Update in the life of a benevolant cat.
Well, I must admit that things were just peachy until the humans started filling up boxes a month ago. Well, okay, maybe it was from before that event.

It all began when the humans up and left. You know the signs that lead up to it (clothes carrying boxes- they call em suitcases, etc.), so I knew it was going to be bad. But they were gone for a long time too. That meant that scary strangers came in to feed us on occasion. Fuzzball Phoebe didn't mind the attention, but I did. I spent the better part of a week under the bed. HOW COULD THEY LEAVE US?!?!?!?!?

But THEN, it got worse, I tell you. Boxes were set up, and things that Phoebs and I took for granted, were slowly disappearing. THEN, there was the trip itself. I don't mind riding in cars so much, but Fuzzbutt hates it. She cried the entire trip (which was about five minutes- not even a cat napping moment, really). But to sum it all up, we moved. I haven't been back to our blessed yard since that car trip. I guess this means we're stuck here.

THERE'S a DOG!

A little white fuzzy dog comes to visit us on occasion. She seems harmless, about the size of me, actually. But she's still a viscious canine, and I'm dreadfully scared of her, the humans, and all the other scary sounds that resonate in this house. One nice thing is, we have a huge porch that we can sit on. It gives us a delightful view of many a winged creature. I find the bird songs so alluring, and phoebe finds the flying insects so appetizing. So I guess the move can't be all that bad.

Anyway, I realize I've missed a lot over the last fortnight or longer. But I thought I would relay my melodramatic sob story (and it IS one) to all of my lovely friends here.

And how are you?
Saturday, February 14th, 2004
1:30 am
Monday, January 26th, 2004
2:54 pm
Aloha?
I'm sitting next to Queenie, and she informed me that it's been well over a month since I last updated. Well, that's not entirely MY fault, you know.

So, how have you all been?

I'll tell you all about life since December when's it called. Shortly after my last entry, Queenie and Auk shut down their computers, (which left me journal-less), packed their bags, and left. That's right, they left us. Some blonde girly named Jenny stayed with us for the rest of the time.

I was NOT HAPPY about this. I spent most of the time either hiding under the bed, or in the guest bathroom sink. I had to do my eating ONLY when that girl was asleep. And Phoebe LOVED this girl. I didn't get it. So Phoebe and I weren't talking much either. I told her that she was a traitor, and that I was sure Queenie and Auk were coming back.

Days went by, and still no return of the original humans. That Jenny girl was determined for me to co-exist with her. She and her MANLY friend would NOT LEAVE!!!! GAH! But finally, I started to realize that this Jenny had no intention of eating me, so I began to come out of my shell slowly.

One day, Queenie, Auk, and the FLOWER (Auk's dad- don't ask me how a flower can father a bird) returned. Well, I was miffed at the two, but had nothing against Flower, since we've met before, and he tends to ignore me. Apparently, he doesn't really like cats, because they eat mice. Well, I don't eat mice. I nap, and eat Hills' C-D, thank you very much!

Then, shortly after I revelled in the bliss of having everyone home, everyone was gone again. That Jenny and her MAN friend were back, and they did some naughty things- I won't share here, necessarily. I was tolerant this time, and Phoebe was all lovey- traitor. A couple of days later, Queenie and Auk were back.

Well, quite frankly, I was tired of having my quiet world turned upside down. The turtles are screwing each other's brains out, Phoebe's being ruthless, and now THIS from the humans. I was mad. But Queenie was sick. She didn't get out of bed much over the next few days. I was worried then, and forgot my anger. Instead, I stayed with her, keeping vigilance. Poor girl.

Funny, she doesn't have a fever now, but she still sleeps a lot. I'm a little worried about her, because- well, she seems blue about something. She doesn't say much, but she scratches my favorite spots on my back, and tells me I can't go in the garage. She feeds me too, and we call it a day. But what does one like me do to fix a broken Queenie?

That's about it for now. I'm going back to sleep for a while. Hi everyone! Let me know how things are out there!

Current Mood: sleepy
Sunday, December 21st, 2003
8:08 pm
Public service announcement
Hi everyone!

Just wanted to let you know that our cards are going to be late. I'm sorry about this, Phoebs and I have been rowing a lot about what to send to people, and Queenie (our mail person) has been working on some art project that she needed to finish by tomorrow. Come to think of it, I'm guessing that the project isn't done yet, because she's having some sort of wacky spaz fit now.

Anyway, consider them "New Years" greetings, if you will.

That's all. Back to my nap.
Monday, December 8th, 2003
1:50 pm
Kudos
Here's a toast- **PHOEBE! KNOCK IT OFF! I'm TRYING TO write something here!!!!!****

(Pesky fuzzball!)

*ahem* Where was I?

Oh yes! Dear Riley, Isa and Kaylin,

Thank you for the lovely holiday card. Queenie took pictures of us - and she'll post later.


Once again, thank you.

This is the first thing in the mail NOT from the vet-monster I've ever received.

**Yay**

Ur, I hope no one heard that.

Excuse me, I have to go punish a punkish fuzzball now.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Thursday, December 4th, 2003
3:42 pm
More talk of shrubbery
Type the following words into Google (or Yahoo! search): miserable failure

Then see what comes up in the results. Fascinating, isn't it?

Current Mood: devious
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
6:38 pm
Is there some community that you can write notes to the humans?
I know there's a note_to_cat, as Queenie sends Phoebe notes.

But I need to get it in her head that I'm NOT a lap cat. I'm too big for her lap, for starters...

Current Mood: whappity whap whap!
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
11:43 am
All I can do is sigh
And be happy that the humans are home again.

I haven't written much, because I was just beside myself for a while. Everything was going just fine, for the most part, until Queenie and Auk left. This was sometime Thursday afternoon. Sure, they leave from time to time, but they didn't come back. And then, an intruder came in to check on Phoebe and me. The intruder called herself, "SIGH-yah," and I was NOT happy with this. I hid under the bed. I hissed. I was very upset.

I figured, well, I can eat tomorrow, when Queenie and Auk return. They didn't. They didn't return on Saturday either. This Sighyah intruder and I had to deal with eachother a few more times. Phoebe liked Sighyah enough, and she even asked me to come out. But nope. I wouldn't have any of it.

However, my stomach gave in sometime Saturday night, and I ate, because I was really hungry. Still- no Queenie and Auk. I was beginning to feel traumatised. I asked Phoebe if we'd been abandoned by our staff. At least when Queenie's mum came to look after us, I was okay with that. Afterall, she's Queenie's mum. Not some INTRUDER!

Then, Sunday came. Sometime in the late afternoon (during my naptime), Queenie and Auk returned. I was so happy. I ate some food. Queenie went to bed at 6pm, and I went with her. I stayed with her, not letting her out of my sight- purring constantly. I was with her when she rose from bed at 3pm yesterday too. I've pretty much not let Queenie out of my sight since Sunday. She's left the house a couple of times, but I'm at the door when she returns.

I'm relieved that Auk and Queenie have returned.

But I'm afraid I'll lose them again.

Current Mood: nervous
Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
2:25 pm
Hi.
Guess what?

I have E-mail now!

Wanna be my pen pal?

Current Mood: accomplished
Friday, November 21st, 2003
11:18 am
Another Scorpio stings her way into my life!
Dear lucie_denicolet,

I hope your birthday is fabulous. Don't forget about your boyfriend in Oli-land,

me
Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
10:55 am
Yeah, I know....
...it's been a while.

I'm here to say one thing, and it almost pains me to say it. Why? Because it would mean admitting that I have a fondness for someone. redqueenofevil, this poem is for you!

But here goes anyway:

I protect you from the ghosts,
and Ask that you don't groom my coat,
I don't care too much about fresh meat,
But that vodka sauce can't be beat.
Today is your special day,
But don't forget to love me anyway.

Dear Queenie,

Happy birthday.

Extra food please?

With *ahem* love,

King Oliver

P.S. I hope my kneeding on your arm showed you how much I like you.

Current Mood: happy
Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
5:33 pm
Maybe I'm slipping a little
I've been allowing phoebemtaquito to sleep on my big bed, even if I'm napping there too.

Should I worry?

Current Mood: warm
Friday, October 31st, 2003
3:27 pm
I'm sulking in the corner
There was a pot of something that smelled good. Peanutty, methinks. I was about to partake of these things wrapped in orange paper, when Queenie covered the pot and said, "No peanut butter cups for you! Sorry!" She then whisked the pot away.


I'm sad now.

Oh, and the black and white kitty didn't linger round long today.

Current Mood: sad
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