I'm here to say one thing, and it almost pains me to say it. Why? Because it would mean admitting that I have a fondness for someone. redqueenofevil, this poem is for you!
But here goes anyway:
I protect you from the ghosts,
and Ask that you don't groom my coat,
I don't care too much about fresh meat,
But that vodka sauce can't be beat.
Today is your special day,
But don't forget to love me anyway.
Extra food please?
With *ahem* love,
P.S. I hope my kneeding on your arm showed you how much I like you.